SFX: Horse racing fanfare

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FVO (horse race commentator style): Welcome to the ticket machine queue races. Up front we’ve got Slowy McSlowface in the yellow and black stripes. It’s the struggle of the century as she approaches the first hurdle - ‘picking the right station’ followed quickly by ‘simply paying for the damn tickets’.

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She’s onto the home-stretch, I hope. A quick glance back over her shoulder and it’s clear she’s feeling the pressure.

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Meanwhile at the back of the pack, Lovely Lady in Blue, AKA me, has gone for the passive-aggressive-impatient-foot-tapping method so Slowy McStripey knows to get a move on. Lovely Lady in Blue takes out her phone for a brief moment. Puts it back in her pocket. Tightens her ponytail. Wait and she’s taking her phone out again! This is gripping event.

Next up it’s Beardy McGee.

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Commentary continues and trails off as final VO comes in.

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VO: You could imagine yourself as a horse racing commentator while you wait...OR you can skip the queue with train tickets on your phone.

Download the Trainline app today.